"Did you know that if you eat enough fiber your poop floats?"
- Bouyack, out of absolutely nowhere "I have a superiority complex." - Bouyack, after remembering when someone said to him "I think you may be developing an inferiority complex."
"Slow the
fuck down, will ya?!"
- Bouyack, trying to notate a chess game played by M and Wicket "HOLY SHIT!" - Random Theta Chi person, after tasting an "Are you Stupid?" wing, and then throwing it away and drinking gallons of milk
"I'm too lazy and I just don't care enough."
- Bouyack, explaining to Gerf why he doesn't cover his Chemistry book "Hello Mr. Emily. If you'd like to accept this offer, please throw out this letter."
- Vanv "Case needs a school of cosmetology so we can have good-looking people make other people look good." - Some upperclassman
-
"If you do things just right, people will wonder if you've actually done anything at all." - Random God-like entity in Futurama
"You'll never get 66.1g unless you're God." - Doc. Oc
"So then I say well… *writes "well" on the board*" - Doc. Oc
"Give it to me, Gerf!" - Vanv
-
"Hey, cosh(t) equals coshit!" - Bouyack
"I just got back from the Generic isle in the store! *pours can labeled "FOOD" onto tray*" - Vanv
"I want to buy a Saddam Hussein bobblehead doll. Wouldn't you like to buy one?" - Kevin
"Don't get complacent on this exam and say, 'I AM GOD!' because then you'll get a 24 on the next exam and say, 'Oh God.'" - Doc. Oc
"Man, I'm getting stupider every day!" - Vanv
"The LN of x balls…"
- Eric "
WWW.ISUCK.COM/ROYALLY!"
- Vanv "Computers, in my mind, are just ways of making bigger errors faster." - Eric
"In Latin class, we never bothered to actually learn the language." - Vanv
"Yeah it's tough, but if you win you'll get metric shitloads of experience." - James
"What is this? You come into my room, drink my pop, sneeze, fart, and use my computer.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!? Where's the
NCC?"
- Eric "HE'S OUT!!!" - Cleveland Police Officer, yelling over the PA and pumping his fist out the window as he drives by in his cruiser, upon seeing a close play at 3rd base in a softball game
"I am never wrong." - Doc. Oc
"It's funny, really, that in a class of nerds everyone tries to be the least nerd." - Dr. Weiss
"What, is he the Boston version of you? He goes, 'Fuck, chowderheads! Fuck, chowderheads!'" - Vanv, to Eric
"If you bring pens to the exam tomorrow, YOU SHOULD BE SHOT." - Doc. Oc
"Who IMs each other in the same fucking room?!" - Eric
"I have the school spirit of a radish." - Bouyack
"That class is like a fucking magic act. He just pulls shit out of his ass!" - Eric
"75 cents for a ping pong ball? That's like a cartel! A ping pong ball cartel!" - Gerf
"Vanv, stop changing colors!" - Gerf
"That would translated as 'now' plus the present negative form of the verb 'what.'" - Gerf, after hearing a horribly mauled Japanese question
"Headbutt to the door… *wham* Ow, that hurt." - Eric
"It could be worse. You could have jelly-filled popcorn." - Wicket
"You are so full of shit, it boggles my mind!" - M, about Vanv
"Then we have to solve for 'P-sub-crap.'" - Bouyack
"I'm a leprechaun with my magic pixie powder! It makes you magically fatter!" - Vanv
"THAT'S RHO, DICKHEAD!" - Bouyack
"Good grief, man, you have a fern!" - M
"The resulting suckage is equal to suck squared." - Bouyack
"The PlayStation2 is black and looks sexy." - Gerf
"What kind of concession stand is that? The concession stand of love?" - Ben
"I want some of that!" - Vanv
"THEY'RE COCO-WHEATS, ASSFUCK!!" - Vanv
"Here we go again…" - Dr. Weiss, upon entering the Math 227 class and seeing that four of the six people in it were some of the most vocal and inquisitive students in Math 124
"So now I'm just wandering around, moaning about my predicament. Oh look, tape." - Bouyack; minutes later his mouth is duct taped shut
"
DDR? This school is great already!"
- Random visitor "
It's cold!"
- Clarence, as he tries to eat an entire orange at once "I've been having run-time errors lately today…" - M
"My pants are
SO on it's unbelievable!"
- Dan "I've got a normal vector straight up my ass!" - Bouyack, explaining the physics of sitting down
"Gerf, did you see the stroke of luck? That just left?" - Vanv
"I really don't feel like talking about this any more than you feel like learning." - Prof. Blackwell; seconds later, everyone in the lecture hall is clapping
"I was raping
everyone… it was
great!"
- Jassim "You can approximate the Mona Lisa using Taylor Polynomials." - Vanv
"I think he's on my six and seven." - Gerf
"I swear, I must be made out of bread products and junk food!" - Paul
"No, this is humping the bedpost!" - Dan
"Yup, that's fuck Osama bin Laden feet tall!" - Eric
"If I do this [DDR] until I graduate, I will
never get laid in my entire life."
- Farns "Rip out eyeball…" - Bouyack
"Dude, I've got over $220 worth of glasses on my head!" - Eric
"You either need more coffee, or drugs, or both." - Post
"Watashi wa wasureruno ga joozu desu." - Kishi-sensei (Translated: I am good at forgetting things.)
"Oh yeah, seatbelt."
- Jack-
"HAHA! THREE POINTS DEFINE A PLANE, MOTHERFUCKER! I WIN!" - Bouyack, to the air
"Explaining something I don't understand to me in terms I don't understand doesn't work for me." - Eric
"If I were telepathic, stupid people would be beacons of pain." - Vanv
"Fuckin' friendly people…" - Eric
"The Catholic Church is not a democracy!" - Newman Pastor
"You can't make an omelet without blowing things up." - Bouyack
"Haven't you ever wanted to just urinate in a recycle bin?" - Vanv, out of absolutely nowhere
"Black holes… you mean those things in space that suck?" - Bouyack
"Mr. Potato Sister!" - Farns
"I look like a fucking margarita!" - Eric, after blowing Country Time Lemonade powder mix in his face
"It usually helps when you shit." - Clarence, as Gerf is attempting to scream "RAPE!"
"Man, that's bullshit!" - Alecia (the RD), upon seeing Vanv signing up for the last possible time to check out of his room
"See you Friday." - Dr. Weiss, after writing "Differentiation" and "Integration" on the board as the review for the final exam
"In terms of sneeze decibels to unit body mass, you are so much louder than Clarence." - Farns, to M
"STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE PLAYING WARCRAFT III!" - Vanv, to Jack
"Hey, aren't you not supposed to park on a crosswalk?" - Unknown
"That's by far the loosest translation ever… even looser than Rollo's pants." - Vanv, on the translation of "Konnichiwa" to "'Sup, fuckers!"
"The Feynman Lectures are good for those of you who are actually interested in learning things." - Dr. Vachaspati
"So let's compress this mofo to 500 atmospheres…" - Unknown
"I'd flip you off, but you're Gerf." - M