====== Gerf ======
**Gerf** is the computer geek responsible for hosting the FckInc wiki and server, among other things.  He grew up in Broadview Heights, Ohio, graduated Magna Cum Laude from [[http://www.case.edu|Case Western Reserve University]] in January, 2007, and currently works at the [[http://www.ccf.org|Cleveland Clinic Foundation]] in Cleveland, Ohio.  He is primarily known in some Internet circles as the webmaster of [[dragon_films|Dragon Films]], a (currently inactive) website dedicated to [[wp>3dmm|3D Movie Maker]], and also administers various other websites, forums, and archives.

===== History =====
FIXME How the name "Gerf" came to be

===== Activities and Projects =====
FIXME Dragon Films, NRCS website, Japan Journal / website, Live eviL, etc

===== Quirks =====
Gerf is a rather quirky character.  He has a complex, subtle, sarcastically dark sense of humor that often shows up in everyday conversation with friends, family, co-workers, and even supervisors.  [[gerf_effect|The Gerf Effect]] is a common phenomenon that occurs due to this humor, though it also often occurs because Gerf just sucks like that sometimes.  Gerf uses highly animated facial expressions, arm and body motions, and bizarre sound effects to punctuate (and sometimes interrupt) his words when speaking; when done in a public area, such as a restaurant, this usually drives [[paul|Paul]] friggin' nuts and often elicits the remark, "I can't take you //anywhere!//"  These quirks also show up in his [[wp>Dungeons_and_dragons|D&D]] character, H'mna, a druid known for oddities such wearing pies on his head and running naked past town guards to draw their attention away from the rest of the party.

There have been many accounts of people claiming that [[gerf_likes_men|Gerf is gay]], though as of yet there has been no clear evidence that this is in fact true.

As far as he can recall, Gerf has always consumed at least one sip of orange juice every day, even when he was in Japan from 2004 to 2005.  During elementary and middle school, Gerf drank very large quantities of OJ daily, and still to this day it is rumored that OJ courses through his veins.  The only known time he went a day without OJ was in the early or mid-90s when he was staying with his family in an old cottage in Geauga county.  When he woke up the next morning, he was reportedly((as reported by Gerf)) jittery, unable to concentrate, and just "nuts" in general.  This story tends to get more extreme every time it is told; now that it's on the Internet, maybe it will stop changing.

===== Other Gerfs =====
"Gerf" pops up on- and offline from time to time in various other forms, though so far nobody has been able to draw a connection between these "Other Gerfs" and the Gerf described here((mostly because nobody has tried)).

==== GERF-100 Water Filter ====
[[vanv|Vanv]] discovered that Gerf exists in water filter form from [[http://www.fridgefilters.com/brita-refrigerator-replacement-water-filter-gerf-100.html|fridgefilters.com]].  According to the site, Gerf can remove the following impurities and contaminants from water:

  * 98.70% of Lead at pH 6.5
  * 99.30% of Lead at pH 8.4
  * 96.90% of Benzene
  * 99.90% of Chlorobenzene
  * 99.90% of o-Dichlorobenzene
  * 99.90% of Ethylbenzene
  * 97.00% of Tetrachloroethene
  * 96.9% of Carbon Tetrachloride
  * 95.00% of Heptachlor Epoxide
  * 99.90% of Toluene
  * 99.50% of Trichloroethene
  * 98.90% of TTHM
  * 99.80% of VOCs
  * 99.90% of Asbestos
  * 99.99% of Cysts
  * 99.70% of 2,4-D
  * 98.80% of Alachlor
  * 76.20% of Atrazine
  * 90.60% of Carbofuran
  * 96.70% of Carbon Tetrachloride
  * 98.00% of Chlordane
  * 99.00% of Endrin
  * 98.90% of Lindane
  * 97.00% of Methoxychlor
  * 98.00% of Simazine
  * 99.90% of Styrene
  * 87.50% of Toxaphene
  * 99.00% of Chlorine
  * 99.10% of Turbidity
  * 99.90% of Particulates (Class I)

The Gerf described on this page doesn't know what half of that crap is.

==== Gerf Hussein ====
According to [[wp>New_Kalabsha|this Wikipedia article]]:

  Gerf Hussein (originally known as Per Ptah, or the "House of Ptah") is [a temple] dedicated
  to Ramesses II, and was built by the Viceroy of Nubia, Setau.  Originally it was partially
  free-standing, and partially rock-cut.  During the flooding of Lake Nasser the free-standing
  section was dismantled and has been reconstructed at New Kalabsha.  Most of the rock cut
  temple was left in place and is now submerged beneath the waters.

Gerf has been known to have hundreds of clones and possess the ability to create a time machine from a Walkman, a ballpoint pen, and some styrofoam, but no conclusive evidence has surfaced that links this to a time-traveling Gerf clone.  [[http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/gerfhussein.htm|Touregypt.net]] has an article that goes into more depth, but the jury is still out.

Contrary to popular belief, Gerf Hussein is in no way related to [[wp>Saddam_Hussein|this bum]].  Most experts agree that this is largely due to the fact that it is difficult to trace the genealogy of a living organism and a man-made temple.

==== Gerf.org ====
[[http://www.gerf.org|Gerf.org]] sounds exactly like the Gerf described here, but the only relation is that Gerf may have come into contact with the owner of Gerf.org at one point or another online.  Either that or it was just a time-traveling Gerf clone playing mind games.

A spin-off((or, more likely, completely unrelated)) website, [[http://www.gerf.com|Gerf.com]], is apparently appropriate technology.  Remember that.

===== See Also =====
  * [[gerf_effect|The Gerf Effect]]
  * [[gerf_likes_men|Gerf Likes Men]]

===== External Links =====
  * [[http://www.thegerf.net|TheGerf.net]]